oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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