we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize