if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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