ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
