it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
