it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
