Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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