Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
