I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
