I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize