I just made out with a guy for $7.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize