So drunk its hurt
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
