She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
