we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize