Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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