Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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