I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize