At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
