Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
