Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
