he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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