we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
