He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
