Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
