your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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