I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
