theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
