Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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