We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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