either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
