Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I think I have vodka in my lungs
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
