You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize