I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
