Where is the hickey?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
