It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
