Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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