And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
