Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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