Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
