I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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