Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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