Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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