I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
