worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
