So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
