You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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