I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
