I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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