Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
