I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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