8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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