girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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