The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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