Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
