I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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