you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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