That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
