im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
