My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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