Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
