He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
