Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
