I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
