I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
