sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
