yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
