I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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