whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
