well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize