I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
