I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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