ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize